Some people might die rather than have you tell them what to do. We all have leverage that can make us change. It might be your children it could be your health. For everyone it’s different but one thing remains the same. YOU have the power to change.
Take a look at scrooge. We all know this asshole. He thought that being close to people equaled pain. He was mean and kept to himself. He was also rich. For some weird reason he equated that him pushing people away was part of the reason for being rich. Scrooge didn’t want to lose everything that he worked so hard for so he secluded himself and kept everyone away that could potentially ruin his empire. We can all have beliefs that make no sense and still believe them.
The only way people change is if there is an action that is creating pain or if the reward of change creates enough pleasure to make a switch.
How many of you have had this happen? You have a food or drink that you absolutely love. Then one night after filling yourself, everything went down your throat easy and just as easy as it went down it came back up and out like a geysor with enough force to flush the toilet without hitting the handle. To this day just the smell or thought of that food or drink makes you disgusted.
This isn’t a change of willpower. All that happened is what linked pleasure to this food or drink has changed to pain. That night you took what pleasure you found, created pain and now you just avoid it.
Now scrooge doesn’t stay this way for ever. We all know what happens. Three fucking weirdos show up at his house and show him massive amount pain that he created in the past, present and future. He instantly changes.
Here’s a reason why people don’t change. You’re in an unhealthy relationship and things are just shit, but things were good in the past right? So you hold on to that. Or I’m blacking out, fighting with everyone making bad decisions, but this is just a phase right? Or I’m coughing my lungs out and having problems breathing, but my aunt smoked a pack a day and lived to 102.
When the pain is in the present we can escape to the past when it was good or make up what happens in the future because it hasn’t happened yet. If your brain can link up that it’s been painful in the past, fucking sucks right now, and the future looks like a shithole your on the path to change.
Right now is the best time to live. Don’t let yourself become Scrooge.